Trevor’s 4th Traffic Jam

---

Hello there, I'm Trevor Traffic Light, keeper of the peace, road safety expert, Purlieu Court's very own neighbourhood watch leader and I'm very proud of my junction on the edge of Hythe Village which is always kept organised and cleaned to the highest standards if I do say so myself. If you've read this far, thank you for your patience and welcome to my third blog on Cornelius Cone's website.

So, I know what you're thinking, what can this handsome upstanding member of the community tell me that Tricia Trolley and Bennie Barrier haven't already said on their blogs, well, I have been very busy this week and with my position in the community, I am perfectly placed to give my unbiased opinion.

Now my GREEN light for this blog has to be for the success of my new trainees who sorted out the chaos that my niece created in Hythe earlier this week. With my attention to detail, knowledge of road traffic procedures, their leader Troy Traffic Light received the best training he could ask for and I am proud that he used it to help others in need. I'm still not sure what he meant about Code Red though. In my day, it was the skill of the driver to get an emergency vehicle through the junction safely without all of us traffic lights changing to red. Very strange and don't even get me started on their solar thing-a-me-jig hairstyles. Powered without electricity, pah, not on my watch.

My AMBER light focuses on the weird and wonderful side of the community. There is quite a stir being caused in Lyndhurst with a new singing vicar who stopped a robbery by singing a song and a birthday cake was stolen from the hotel by a man who Cornelius Cone allowed to escape!! Meanwhile in the supermarket, Tricia Trolley finds an old wallet and doesn't hand it in but instead tries to find some treasure for herself and Wet Floor, after getting himself into all kinds of bother, seems to be leading his son Wet Floor Junior astray as well. I keep telling them that wandering around in the woods at night will cause nothing but trouble but nobody listens.

And my RED light has to be given to our author John Roberts for bringing Christmas to us early!! Yes the Christmas Adventures are here and we're still in November. No doubt the shop keepers at Purlieu Court will have their flashing lights flickering outside soon, Mrs Quilliam will insist on putting some tinsel around my neck and the carol singers will be outrageously out of tune singing Christmas Songs everyday very soon. Bah humbug!

So that's me done for this blog. Remember to check back regularly for my red, amber, green assessment of everything in the world of Cornelius Cone And Friends and don't forget to check my friends Tricia Trolley and Bennie Barrier's blogs too.

Until next time, remember to look both ways and wait for the WALK sign when you're crossing the road. I don't want to have to shout at you for not following the rules.

See you next time

TTL

Hello there, I'm Trevor Traffic Light, keeper of the peace, road safety expert, Purlieu Court's very own neighbourhood watch leader and I'm very proud of my junction on the edge of Hythe Village which is always kept organised and cleaned to the highest standards if I do say so myself and welcome to my second red, amber, green blog here on my friend Cornelius Cone's website. Now if you've read this far, I'm impressed. You really are a true traffic light blogger. 

Now, you'll have to excuse me today, I still have a thumping headache from all that noise from the other night when they had that cyber party in Bluebell Park. I'm over a mile away from it and it was still too loud for me. Maybe I'm getting old.

So, as I said before, this is my chance to give my unbiased opinion on whatever I see, and believe me I see a lot, and hear around the local area. The good get my green light, the bad get my red light and the downright weird get the amber light.

My green light this week was the time when Christopher Cone and his family actually waited for my WALK sign before they crossed the road. No, no, no, focus Trevor stop it. Focus! My green light this week goes to Rita Red Bin for unselfishly helping Bertie Bin when he found himself in trouble. Both Bertie Bin and Bella Bin had been really horrible to Rita when she first arrived but when Bertie Bin caught fire, Rita acted bravely and saved him. Well done Rita!! Also, my green light goes to UNIQUE RETAIL in Hythe Village for stocking and selling our books and merchandise. The weather may be cold and wet outside but Unique Retail give our readers some amazing deals on our books and merchandise. Thank you Unique Retail for your support. I have started writing my memoirs and I did ask if they would mind stocking that book for me when I finished but the lady got all embarrassed. I wasn't sure why then I realised I was changing. I'll try and wear something underneath my lights next time.

My Amber light this week, well, where do I start. A cone talking to a church mouse, an owl believing that two dachshunds are wolves creating destruction in The New Forest, Cornelius Cone being harassed my the media, Billy Bollard being hit on the head with a basketball and knocking him out or Postman Pete's obsession with cars and vans only made on Wednesdays. I don't care what day of the week they were made as long as they stop when my red light is showing and go when I change to green then I'm happy. Looking at that lot, I think I'll let you decide the amber light for this blog. Help! I'm living with a village of lunatics!!

Now my red light, hmm, there's quite a few contenders here. I would like to give it to Susie Suitcase for all of the trouble she has caused Cornelius Cone but I also wonder what has happened to her. Those local criminals Baz and Jez caused a big accident at my junction when they sped away in their car before escaping from Cornelius at Hythe Marina. I hope she will be ok and maybe we will see her again in another adventure. Only our author's know that. 

Speaking of our illustrious authors, I hear Steve will be releasing another one of his animated adventures soon. I have to admit, when Steve first started sketching me in How It All Began, I looked good. Hopefully I haven't aged too much in this new one. 

And that brings to an end another one of my traffic light blogs. That reminds me, I need to get the road sweeper to clear up those pieces of broken lights at my junction. Can't have the place looking untidy now can we? Especially when we have the footballer Matthias Rushenford from South Coast United coming to see Cornelius soon to congratulate him on his charity work. And Corny tells everyone he doesn't like being a celebrity, yeah right!! 

Make sure you take a look at my friend Bennie Barrier's blog on this page and please like us on Facebook to keep up to date with everything going on in our new adventures. Part 7 of The New Adventures Of Cornelius Cone is out very soon and you can download those ebook thing-a-me-jigs earlier if you can't wait for the good old fashioned paperback book to arrive. Come on Postman Pete, get a move on, I ordered mine this morning, what's taking so long? 

Maybe I do need to join the latest craze and get myself one of those Amazon Kindle thing-a-me-jigs. Even though they said a traffic light would never blend in in the Amazon. I'm sure I could've helped those weird and wonderful animals gain an education of urban life. Although I doubt even they would wait for my WALK sign! Ah well, you win some you lose some.

Until next time, remember to look both ways and wait for the WALK sign when you're crossing the road. I don't want to have to shout at you for not following the rules.

See you next time

TTL

Hello there, I'm Trevor Traffic Light, keeper of the peace, road safety expert, Purlieu Court's very own neighbourhood watch leader and I'm very proud of my junction on the edge of Hythe Village which is always kept organised and cleaned to the highest standards if I do say so myself.

So, you're probably wondering what an upstanding member of the Hythe community like me is standing here talking to you for. Well I'd like to welcome you to my Traffic Light Blog which gives you all the information you need about my illustrious friend Cornelius Cone and his many adventures.

Every blog I will give my unbiased opinion on whatever I see and hear around the local area, the good, green light, the bad, red light, and the downright weird, amber light.

So, what can I tell you this time? Ah yes, my GREEN light for this blog is the launch of this very website, Corny's very own Facebook and Twitter Pages and the new retail adventure we will be having with Unique Retail in Hythe Village over the next few months. Lots of exciting things are happening including a social media video going viral, two cats causing trouble in the yard and Billy Bollard finds a message in a bottle.

Well, those defangled phones that everyone keeps staring at instead of looking where they are going will have many special offers, news updates about Cornelius Cone And Friends as he launches his 7th, yes seventh, New Adventures book very soon. The new book will also be available from Unique Retail soon with lots of other deals. You can't beat going into the shops and finding that special item you want right there waiting for you instead of waiting for those couriers to throw a box over your neighbour's gate for you to find. Sorry Postman Pete, no offence there.

Personally, I'm a little more old fashioned and prefer the smell of a fresh new book direct from the publishers instead of those online ebook thing-a-me-jigs but if you can't wait for the paperbacks then the ebooks are on sale now from Amazon.

My AMBER light for this blog is the rumour I've heard about Postman Pete's Wednesday Car. Now Cornelius Cone has told me many weird and wonderful tales before, like being shrunk by a vicar in his vegetable garden, being sucked into a painting with Tricia Trolley and having to battle dragons and dinosaurs or even being kidnapped by a school teacher so he could perform in the Christmas Nativity play but Postman Pete only driving cars that are made specifically on Wednesdays is just weird. 

I'm waiting for the punch line for one of his awful jokes but I'm afraid to say he might actually be serious for once!! Maybe he's spending too much time with those Dachshunds. I've heard that Maximus McWoofington The Third can be hard work at times. 

If you can't wait until the new paperback comes out, I've heard that The Tale Of The Wednesday Car is available from that Amazon website everyone keeps talking about. Ah yes, the amazon, exotic home to lots of weird and wonderful animals. I tried to go on holiday there once but they wouldn't let a traffic light go to the amazon! I really don't understand why? I'm sure I'd have blended right in. Anyway, hopefully those ebook thingys will have more chance of getting through then I did. Plus, I'd never let Tallulah Traffic Light look after my junction again after last time!!

And finally, my RED light for this blog comes from Lyndhurst Church. I heard that the vicar had been injured by a falling gargoyle and that Cornelius Cone and Bennie Barrier had been up on that balcony before Highway Harry closed the area off. It was all in the newspapers, even Bella Bin read about it. Harry's convinced that he saw suitcase wheel tracks there and Cornelius is always talking about a French Suitcase that he met at the airport. Apparently she tried to kidnap Wet Floor at the car boot sale until he opened his bottle of bleach to escape. Sacrebleu, what a close shave that was.

So that's me done for this blog. Remember to check back regularly for my red, amber, green assessment of everything in the world of Cornelius Cone And Friends and don't forget to check my friend Bennie Barrier's blog too. 

Until next time, remember to look both ways and wait for the WALK sign when you're crossing the road. I don't want to have to shout at you for not following the rules.

See you next time

TTL